I used to run around the city streets and approach women as much as humanly possible.

I don’t even feel totally comfortable talking about it now because all the effort I put into that shit did not amount to even a fuckin half way decent ROI.

I also just don’t do it now.

SURE, I learned to talk to women and see all the subtle cues but…now I just SEE them.

I see when they throw thier half-ass ‘clues’ as me, and then I watch them get mad over time as I just ignore them.

They get more passive aggressive because not a single woman will risk saying…’I like you’.

Dumb Asses.

Some will tell me to get over it.

Fuck you.

Some of you will tell me that they ARE saying it…but with hints.

Well you know what bitch?

A hint is a hint.

Saying it is saying it

And a fucking hint AINT’ fucking saying it.

All that fucking equality nonsense and you still can’t ACT equal.

Just vindictive.

Take a fucking risk bitch.

At least it shows you really mean business.

I digress…

…and when I say I digress I mean i digress…not some other shit okay??

Morons.

…ok ok ok ok ok…

…were calming down…

BITCH!

…and were back.

Breathe in aiiiiir…breathe out a bunch of hippie bullshit in a self-help book.

But I did…I did do pick up.

I was a pick up artist.

Or whatever you wanna call that shit when you just have the balls to talk to women and strangers and pay attention to the social dynamic so you can leverage it in your favor to increase the odds of getting laid and in turn more social leverage.

That.

I did that.

It was cool.

I did get laid.

It did teach me to stand up to some real assholes.

But in all fairness, if I had just been more selective of where I spent my time I would have dealt with way less assholes and that would have had a much better effect on my general outlook on humanity.

I think most people are weak, judgmental, liars, cowards, and stupid…and it’s those very traits that keep them together as a tribe.

They don’t want to get better so they team up and approve of each other.

Now they don’t fucking have to be better.

Anyway, I learned to just walk up to groups with some good energy and some jokes and break in.

Get phone numbers and connections and dates and one night stands and threesomes.

I dated and fucked models and hot nerds and exotic dancers.

I got experiences that rich people pay for.

I also got experiences that you CAN’T pay for.

Witnessing the true nature of women that is never spoken of.

Cheating wives and girlfriends.

Women with wild sexual fantasies.

Women who were within feet of the men they were dating and willing to risk it with me.

I became that guy women loved to step into the dark with…sharing secrets and experiences.

While a ton of women are screaming about equality, or the patriarchy, or their ‘soft era’…

…that soft era shit makes me fucking ick with a thirst for vengance…

…while they are doing ALLLLL that…they are shooting themselves right in the cooch in the search for men.

Notice I only said MEN.

I did NOT say WORTHY MEN.

Not HIGH STATUS MEN.

Nor the SIX (foot), SIX (inch), SIX (furgure) MEN.

MEN

Women LOVE MEN.

Any woman who screams different can fuck and suck a robot…they already do…they are the minority and we don’t fucking care.

Women LOVE SEX.

Probably MORE than men.

The slew of videos from women wondering why men are no longer approaching are only increasing.

The women on the street who STILL don’t fucking approach but throw hints at you, even subconsciously, are everywhere.

I see them EVERY DAY.

EVERY.

DAY.

But I trained to see them.

In case you don’t believe me guys…

• Dress and smell and look as nice as you can. (LOOK HOT.)

• Talk just a little louder than you normally do but don’t change how you normally speak.

• Head up.

• Belly forward to stay tall.

• Take up space. In other words just don’t give a shit if you’re too close to somone or in a weird space. If people want to move away they can. Hold.

Women can totally do this, too.

Don’t try at all to talk to women or get them to pay attention.

Women who like you will ‘purse’ their lips. (Not the duck lips selfie.)

It’s a quick prep for kissing and in this case…body language to notice.

What happens is she presses her lips together quickly to make them a bit more plump as she releases them.

Think of that final move a woman makes when she finishes applying lip gloss.

Most women don’t notice they do it.

It’s automatic.

The ones who REALLY like you will lick their lips.

LITERALLY.

Still…do nothing.

Just pay attention to the general reaction to someone who looks good, confident, and purposeful.

That’s You.

If you’re one of the gals reading this and your face is getting red hot from pure anger…

You’re welcome.

But this isn’t a tutorial.

It’s a blog post.

I wanted to emphasize the whole point that I stupidly missed when I was practicing.

Learning pick up is supposed to be about becoming whole as a person.

“Pick Up” is just a funky name for being whole.

That’s it.

But I really developed a fake personna around it.

Pick up didn’t enhance my life.

It defined it.

So I got sucked (literally and metaphorically) into a whirlwind of horrible choices, unhealthy habits, and stupid people.

It changed me in the negative because I swam too far into the deep end.

I stopped asking myself ‘Who am I.’ and ‘What do I want?’.

It was just a slew of interactions asking a single, sad question.

‘Does she like me?’

That’s it.

I did have confidence and a lot of it was real.

Men (and women) were blown away when I would walk up to a group of stranges and just shoot the shit.

By the way…I DID take some spectacular rejections.

Don’t think I just helicopter dicked my way through life.

But when you get laid a lot, the rejections are hardly noticeable…and some of those rejections turn around as well.

Still, I was trying to fill an unfillable void.

I wanted to be loved.

Nope.

I wanted to love myself.

Nope.

I wanted to TRUST myself.

TRUST is the main source of fuel for all people alike.

It’s the reason kids STAY on a trajectory of success or failure as they grow up.

We trust.

…or WE DON’T.

People who trust are more open.

They are more vulnerable BECAUSE they trust the world will not beat them for being that way.

They will take on more risk because they trust the ultimate outcome will be positive…so they have patience.

Now…I DID learn to trust myself…but only in a SINGLE category.

Pick Up.

I had been through it so many times that I could even trust the rejections and the other men in competition.

I knew where the lines were and what I could cross and not cross.

Because I had a familiarity with the entire Chess board, I never had an apprehension to play the game.

I promise you that if I started to game again…it’d take at least a month for me to regain that trust.

First of all because it’s been awhile.

Second of all because I’ve had many toxic and impactful experiences with humanity.

Third, I’d be playing with an entirely different set of rules. Not externally…but internally. I changed. Same game, different player.

As I grew into my late twenties and early thirties, I still was unaware of my neurodivergence and my pattern of seeking toxic relationships.

I could never figure out why I tended to attract people who were desperate, inconsistent, angry, ‘willfully’ blind, or manipulative.

Two reasons:

• I was most of those things. Especially inconsistent and angry.

• I could not see the pattern in myself or in those people who were my mirror. This included family, friends, and relationships. You can’t break what you can’t see.

It wasn’t until a big old crash and burn.

I had a kid with someone I TRULY did not like. (Desperation for Attention.)

Most of my friends and family were toxic toward each other…forced behavior, little white lies, constant judgement.

I maintained a relationship with a woman who was toxic and trauma bonding for 5 years.

This meant I was also around her family and friends who were ALSO the same.

Birds of a feather…

I did not understand money and stability because I had never been educated properly on it.

I also had/have ADHD and never knew that could be an issue.

The combination of ADHD with the lack of trust puts a massive damper on your ability or desire for long term planning in any area.

Even when the money was good in my Strip Club DJ career - yes I know - I was still in panic mode and spent like a moron.

Also my direct influencers were also fucked up…so that didn’t help.

I was easily suckered by get rich quick opportunities or just treated actual businesses like get rich quick opportunities instead of being patient and building consistently.

I listened to gurus.

I met the gurus.

I worked for gurus.

They are NOT gurus.

They DON’T give a fuck about you.

Still descending…

I lost jobs.

I split from friends and family.

I split from my relationship…begrudgingly as I was still addicted.

I lost it all.

I slept in streets, cars, abandoned buildings, tents, etc…

I hopped from state to state.

I guess I could call it impromptu travelling…nope.

More like bouncing around desperately, incapable of detecting and keeping good opportunities.

But…no matter where you go…there you are.

The longer it went on…the worse it got.

The ADHD became Anxiety…

became Depression…

became Intrusive Thoughts…

became C-PTSD…

To this day, you would not know that I take meds and keep away from most people.

Women still flirt.

Men still want to talk.

I have regained myself in a lot of ways.

But there’s still much work to do.

I have every fucking right to be furious about the hand I was dealt.

So do you, if you feel that way.

But I keep pushing for all of it.

A deeper understanding of this experience.

A more wholistic version of who I am.

Do I want to grab a pair of tits and motorboat until I suffocate?

Yeah, duh.

But I want to be fully WHO I am and what I am capable of.

A drop less and I cannot be satisfied.