Alpha Divergent Shadow Alchemy

Masterclass for the Neurodivergent and Traumatized

From trauma to triumphantly jamming my boot right up lifes ass.

As a child I was sexually abused by my mother’s second long term boyfriend, a gang member with a hot temper who beat her whenever the feeling washed over him.

He stuck a gun in her face.

He also left a permanent scar after throwing a glass figurine at my head.

He also tried to send a couple of female thugs to beat my mother up when she wouldn’t kiss his ass.

She beat them both with a frying pan.

This was the foundation.

People didn’t even talk about trauma back then.

ADHD was early onset in my childhood, but my mom was afraid of medicating me because of the nature of the meds. They were just too strong and turned me into a zombie. I still appreciate her removing those meds to this day. She liked my energy. I liked it, too.

As I grew up, I experienced a lot of useless family drama and toxic behavior, as many families do.

I don’t want to get too far into the ugliness. The anger that I grew up with had attached itself to me.

I would scream loudly in public.

My temper was hot.

I was lucky to have some high energy jobs and activities to keep me together and happy for the most part.

The relationships I got into always had an element of that toxicity in them. Women who were only nice when I treated them like garbage. People who lie and manipulate…and are proud of it. If I dated someone who was not toxic, I usually broke up with them because I was unfamiliar with actual balanced behavior. I had a tendancy to attract other toxic people as well. A lot of my friends held the same characteristics I had.

Unbalanced. Unfocused. Unfulfilled.

I crashed out.

I had a kid coupled with an unhealthy relationship that was going nowhere. The relationship was not with the mother. The issue was that I got caught up in drugs and sex and turned into a moron of a boyfriend and generally a lost human in general. I had actually been in that relationship so long that I thought it was something that was going to last. I also thought I was with someone honest.

But she was just a toxic match for me.

It was one dramtic story after another, and it only ended with a rough break up and me falling into a deep depression. I lost money. I lost myself. I lost my stability of which I hardly had any. I ended up living in my car…abandoned buildings…hopping from shared home to rooming apartment…sleeping in the streets.

It felt like it would never fucking end.

I was constantly on edge.

The only people I could seem to meet, rich or poor, were fucking nuts.

After close to five years of absolute spinning and always connecting with the worst of people, I had more than ADHD.

C-PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety had also entered the chat. I was having trouble sleeping. I had massive intrusive thoughts about being a ‘loser’ or a ‘piece of shit’…I consciously knew that these thoughts were not true. I was self harming just to quiet the thoughts.

This was the result of years of traumatic and painful events…physical pains…sexual abuse…fake friends…abusive bosses and managers…family drama and ‘in’ fighting…homelessness…

I could not socialize. I could not concentrate. I could not read a book. I could not keep a job.

Fuck.

I could hardly think.

I kept trying.

For a moment I was able to clear everything out by cutting everything out.

Shit food. OUT.

Booze, although I hardly drank. OUT.

Weed. OUT.

I was able to clear my head of the intrusive thoughts and just feel normal…as normal as I COULD feel. Still, it wasn’t long before I was stressing and feeling pain in my body…and I had a little weed to feel physically better again. It didn’t take much at all. It all came rushing back. The anxiety and intrusive thoughts came like they had never left.

I was in a double bind.

I could not seem to totally heal if I was clean, OR if I was smoking.

After another lost job, I finally got a chance to see a therapist…who decided it would be a good idea to lie and say I was on opioids (fentanyl, codeine, morphine, etc.) on her report.

Seeking help, I somehow got myself a toxic therapist.

Even with the fake sympathy from an abusive health professional, I knew I needed meds. My mom had been bothering me about it forever, but with work and constant burn out, the time and energy was not there.

I could be super physically fit. I could lean into organization and self-help knowledge. I could meditate and shove every religious text right up my ass.

And don’t get me wrong…these things REALLY work.

But I just needed help.

I JUST NEEDED HELP.

I was mostly alone except for my mother and brother…feeling abandoned and constantly in a recurring loop of rumination…I needed some fucking help.

Now that I was gainfully unemployed I could make a move.

I set an appointment and got my very first dose of bupropion.

As much as I pride myself on being motivated and intelligent, the medication cleared me up in a way that I really needed. The results were not immediate…but they sure felt that way to me.

For the first time in years I felt kind of normal once I got medicated. I still had a lot of the symptoms that were beating me over the head, but the volume was turned way down. The recurring thoughts of my past were’nt so loud anymore.

All the good habits I had were suddenly easier to lean into because there wasn’t a wall of bullshit in the way. It was like the road was cleared and I could run a little faster.

I’ll be honest.

A LOT faster.

I suddenly had wings. I could communicate freely. My thoughts could flow better. I could study. I generally felt good. Did it solve all my problems and buy me a yacht? No. I still had to leverage all I knew and stay consistent. The pill won’t do your homework for you.

Why would I be so revealing of myself?

Because we need to be honest.

The traumatized and neurodivergent need help.

From professionals.

From each other.

I am not a doctor.

I hold no certification in anything medicinal.

But for years, even with all the trauma and setbacks, I made progress and stayed on track. I learned the game of shadow alchemy and the importance of story lining your life. The power of revealing yourself TO yourself.

People out there have so much potential and it all gets buried by fear and excuses. The only real medicine for those are action and truth telling. Removing the bullshit. You don’t have to be perfect. The neurodivergent and the traumatized are far from it. We want things to be better but there’s no real accountability or tools for it.

There are books and youtube clips scattered about that still leave you having to figure it out.

We want results.

We want them faster.

We want them without hiding who we are and what drives us.

Not only feeling like you BELONG in the world, but having the absolute confidence to stand up when someone tries to make you feel like you don’t.

The neurotypicals love to mask and pretend.

• They actually think lying and being passive agressive is normal.

• They actually think watching hours of fucking TV while letting life pass by is normal.

• They think fast food is normal.

• They think being a bully to those weaker than they are is normal.

• They think it’s normal to act like a victim when it serves them best.

• They think you shoud be cool and get fucked up like they do.

• They think not accepting their religion means other people deserve to die and go to hell.

They think like demons because they don’t think at all.

But you think different, don’t you?

You make the mistake of trying to fit in when you should stand as yourself and let people decide to stay or fucking leave.

But how do you do this?

We can’t feed on memes anymore.

They are fucking useless.

• We need real substance and community.

• We need real actions and connections.

• We need accountability and content that works as much as we do.

This is the entire point of shadow alchemy for the divergent.

To take the labels and past trauma and use them as fuel for individual power.

Power to be leveraged as you see fit.

Of course there’s self-help out there.

But there isn’t a real experience with real feed back.

There isn’t the opportunity for our content to be updated in real time as we mature and understand ourselves better.

We want some of the same things the normies do.

Better relationships, income, and health.

We want a foundation that allows us to expand and be happy and comfortable with who we are. We are sick of hiding and making excuses for our existence.

Period.

This is a chance to do exactly that.

Alpha Divergent Shadow Alchemy aims to be a deep experience and an expanding community.

In the near future, we will incorporate all the elements that make a great course.

• The text.

• The audio.

• The video.

• The exercises.

• The community.

Within those elements, you’ll get:

• The process and history on shadow alchemy, and how to ACTUALLY flip your triggers into fuel:
  We will not be telling you to just ‘do it’. The process is one of intense self-revelation. We operate in the real world, not the one where we pretend we are making progress.

• Live calls:

  We are going to treat group sessions like one on one sessions. You will dive into the community right away. There will be no hiding. There will only be tribal building and execution. Not mandatory. But not easy or comfortable, either.

• Focus over Friction lessons:
  We need to learn how to trick ourselves into more productivity and more enjoyment over time. This is where you will execute on environment. It’s one of the elements most accessible to you.

• Community:
  Forget about me being your magical guru. I am certainly here to teach as much as humanly possible, but you are here to grow. NOT to worship me. If there’s anyone I want you to look up to, I want it to be yourself. The community we will build will be based on a tribal culture, where we all care for each other and give what we can. No need to self-sacrifice. No need to make this your religion.

• Truth:

  There is no fucking way that a single exercise or a technique will solve all of your problems. We train hard because life is hard. We get help where we can and where it’s needed. I will give real feedback and information based on what I can truly stand for. Never any rah-rah optimism shit. Yes…we need to be optimistic and create hope. But not if it means lying to ourselves.

• The long game will reveal that we can make it entertaining as well. The possibility for making a cinematic experience in this program is a challenge, but it’s doable. Give this one time.

I could talk out of my ass all day and promise you results with a double platinum guarantee and even send you a bullshit booklet with my copied and pasted signature so that you feel like I am talking directly to you.

My hope is that at some point I become a ghost as you are all able to talk to each other, to be honest.

The best I can do here is make a thousand dollar program and give it to you for dirt cheap.

And when you see that there are elements “missing”, you can rest assured that they will be given attention and the program will evolve.

That being said.

I won’t drag you through a fucking hour long sales process with a bunch of upsells and 50% percent off shit and weird pop ups and then follow that up with a million emails about how you’re missing out.

I WILL tell you that when the program is released on new years day 2027 (AST time zone) the price will be a thousand bucks, because frankly lots of people CAN pay that amount and it allows the brand to grow rapidly.