THREE: TRIGGERS AND PROJECTIONS
IT'S ALL FAKE. YOU'RE ALL FREE.
STORYTIME
I know there’s a lot of reference to story lines here. There’s a lot of reference to characters. We’re just talking about life. Stories and even the idea of story telling just make it easier for the lessons to land. Keep that in mind.
Your life is a story. In reality your life is a process and a cycle from birth to death. Most things are on repeat. It’s not hyper complex when you put it that way. But we still play things out like stories. You are the main character, of course. But you are not thinking that. You are just behaving that way on autopilot. There are people you (maybe) consider good and bad guys. There is history and there is the projected future. There is the present day.
We have a long history of learning through story. Tribesmen and kings alike share stories to impart wisdom, joy, and clarity to each other. Even in the age of AI, we are creating prompts that create characters.
But we are just talking about you.
Take some time to sort of see your own version of this behavior or thought process. What could you say is the simple story of your life? Who are the good guys and the bad guys? What is your ordinary world, your call to adventure, your magic sword, your final battle, or your final trip home? What is your initiation, separation, and return?
FAUX SOCIETY
Even though story telling is great in the grand scheme of things for all of us because it allows us to relate, we all make the mistake of casting people as characters in our story. In a book or a movie, you can expect the characters to always be who they are. Sure, you may have the plot twist or two, but for the most part you understand the general arc of a character. In short, you know what to expect.
In real life, people change. People evolve. (Assuming they choose to do so.) In real life, you don’t know people’s stories. You have no clue what motivates them. You don’t know where they came from. You don’t know what they fear. With wisdom and experience you can get a good feel for behavioral psychology and that helps you get a better grip on people. Maybe you are very social. Maybe you’re in sales. Maybe you deal with a certain class of society. These things give you an edge.
But you need to be careful of trying too hard to place people in a box. The good or evil box. Not because you can’t tell who does good or bad things. But because when you can’t look at people objectively, you can’t learn about them as much as you’d like. You become less curious and ask less questions. You miss opportunity or you overinvest in people you should be walking away from.
I only bring up this process of ‘projection’ because many people do it. People, suffice it to say, can be very mentally lazy. It’s easy to just label a person and move the fuck on. It’s hard to spend time and get to know someone. By the way, this is not an obligation to go deep on every conversation. This is just a lesson on the average human mind.
The result is we all live in a faux society, where everyone is floating in and out of consciousness. So while you’re projecting, they’re projecting. When you are projecting, you likely don’t know it. When you are tense without thought, you are seeking to project…but just haven’t found a target yet. When you are triggered, you are not here. When you are projecting, you are not here.
So the faux society is in your head. You want to stay out of it and have more vivid interactions that are not constantly running through the filter of your projected story line.
TRIGGER LOOP
The average consciousness beLIEves that triggers live outside of them and it’s kind of true. But one can’t be triggered without a thought process or an idea telling the ‘self’ to be triggered. When the ‘self’ is triggered, the conscioussness beLIEves they are being triggred. The consciousness only gives orders and has experiences. You are conscioussness and therefore not the receiving end of the trigger. Rather, you are the observer of the ‘self’ reacting to the trigger. You see the thing that triggers. You experience the mental and physical reaction of the ‘self’. It’s so close that you just assume it’s you.
You are still the programmer. You teach the ‘self’ to find a way to not care about the trigger or you force the ‘self’ to create an environment where the trigger cannot exist. Your ‘self’ becomes addicted to these triggers. When they are not happening and cannot be found, there is only one other option.
Projection. Casting a story onto the world. Casting a spell on you. Your mind is seeking out triggers when there are none to be found. You’re not unique or special in this sense. Everyone has triggers in thier body…in their ‘selves’. The truth is ff you’re not unique, there’s really no story. If there’s no story, there’s nothing for your ‘self’ to attach to…and you can be here in the present moment.
THE CHANNEL
Your mind is a CHANNEL.
A HALLWAY.
A PASSAGE.
Data enters through your senses.
It emerges from your memory, your synapses, and your superconscious…your god head…back into the world. Your mind has the ability to process many thoughts and ideas, however we can make the massive mistake of trying to process every thing that we see.
Saving. Categorizing. Labeling.
What is it? What does it mean? What can be done with it? How do I feel about it?
Meanwhile, we dump shit signals into our brain.
Weed.
Hard drugs.
Binge watching shows, movies, and games.
Porn.
Knowledge.
Religion.
Alcohol.
Crisis and Drama.
I have zero issues with any of these things, by the way. But I used to do all of those things and I just became this hole that would never be filled…a man never to feel satisfaction. There’s also really nothing morally wrong with doing these things. But if you are trying to recliam your body and mind and, therefore, your experience of life, you will have to drop these life numbing signals as much as you can in order to make room for that which is fulfilling.
Keep your channel clear.
PATTERN VS. SOURCE
Yes, your trauma responses have a ‘source’. Everything comes from somewhere…and understanding those sources DO help. But you can overcome them EVEN if you never figure out where it all started. It’s not as important to move toward the source of the problem as much as it is important to see the echoes of the problem that exist in your present day life.
FIND THE PATTERN.
Very often, the pattern will bring you to the source anyway. You don’t have to go on a journey to change. But if you authentically feel you want to move in that direction, you can. Your thoughts are programming left in your ‘self’. If it’s programming that does not serve you, it’s illusion.
You are here to be served by your ‘self’. This can feel a little like dissonance to believe you are here to be served by your own ‘self’ as the controlling consciousness. But if you are alive, and you are not into the idea of being a slave to be controlled by others, what else could your ‘self’ possibly be for? Use it.
Your ‘self’ will often refuse and try and convince you to be passive or do things later. This is you being the slave. Your body convinces you to do less and then you live an experience that you are unhappy with. You as the consciousness becomes unhappy in order to make the ‘self’ comfortable.
It’s more important to see the patterns of the ‘self’ that are sabotaging you than finding a way to relive the source of a trauma that will bring you no closer to the life and performance you desire. There is something you want to be. A character you truly want to embody. Find the pattern of the ‘self’, and you can break it to engage with the desired pattern of you…the consciousness. You don’t need deep discovery. You need training. You are the source.
PRESENCE
Everything is a practice in being present. Be present. You’re here. In this space. It’s your highest calling. Don’t think…STREAM. Rumination and fantasizing also fucks you. If you need to think about something you can do it in the present moment. But when you are swept up in thought to the point of not even knowing where you are, it’s likely a problem. If you want to dive into the mind, you can always meditate. I won’t get into it, but I would recommend looking into transcendental meditation. Also, be careful of the ‘self’ coming in through the side door. For example, if you are lost in thought, and you notice it. Just come back to being here. The ‘self’ will trick you by making you feel triggered for not being in the moment which shoves you right back into your head.
It’s NOT a self-blame thing or some over hyped taking responsibility shit.
It’s - you’re HERE…or you’re not.
What’s the pattern that’s killing you?
How will you break it?
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